TheRealBennyLava

Okay I’ve since edited this post after I first posted it, i have added some stuff, hopefully it is a little funnier now and I’ve also included my picture and some other images.

For those of you haven’t heard about TechCrunch50 it is an awesome event where 51 startups( present their idea in front of a huge group of people including awesome judges like Tim O’Reilly and Robert Scoble. The event is put on by TechCrunch in association with its sponsors and is organized by Mike Arrington (editor of TechCrunch) and Jason Calacanis (overall cool guy and CEO/Founder of Mahalo). The organizers are holding a contest to give out a free ticket to the event to whomever makes the best blog post stating 10 reasons they should go and that is why I am posting about it, because I am listing my top 50 reasons, since I want to show that I want to go five times as much as everyone else. I will count backwards.’

EDIT: Reason 51: I wont’ pull a Dave Winer and demand an API right away.

Reason 50: It is TechCrunch Friggin 50! The coolest event of the whole fragging year.

Reason 49: I won’t wear sunglasses inside which means I won’t look like I am from the CIA, FBI, Secret Service, KGB or MI6.

Reason 48: The world needs me to be there…otherwise there will be a rift in the time space continiumabobble

Reason 47: I will save you money by not drinking alcohol at any open bar events, which makes giving me a free ticket the better financial option for the organizing team.

Reason 46: I’ll keep my phone on Vibrate so it doesn’t interrupt everything, that way I can still blog from it and receive text messages, and provide Twitter updates via Twinkle.

Reason 45: If I was to get the invite I would invite the organizing group ,or any of them that choose to attend to come to my house and my mom will make you a nice homemade dinner.

Reason 44: Only 43 more reasons to read.

Reason 43: I am fluent in English, which I guess is the language everyone will be presenting in. If it is not then I am not sure i want to go, I’m American, I don’t really know any other language :).

Reason 42: I will be an exemplary attendee and you will be glad you gave me a pass to the conference.

Reason 41: I’ll bring my DVDs and let everyone watch them if you want.

Reason 40: This is TechCrunch 50 not TechCrunch 40, It is therefore going to be at least 20% better than last year.

Reason 39: Getting to see and possibly meet Tim O’Reilly would be awesome. He is a genius and has created what I consider to be the best publishing company in the world today. He changed the industry for sure.

Reason 38: I will blog live from the event. I’ll have both my iPhone and my MacBook Pro with me and I’ll be blogging live.

Reason 37: I don’t have a reason 37, its a prime number.

Reason 36: 6 is divisible into 36 6 times. I am more than 6 years old, therefore I should get the invite because I am also under 36. Did I just blow your mind? I think I did.

Reason 35: I have an iPhone and I expect that some of the companies will be companies with iPhone related ideas and products and that will be very interesting.

Reason 34: The only technology related conference I have attended (other than the Los Angeles County Science Fair) was the 2005 CES, and that was fun, but it wasn’t as educational as TechCrunch50 would be for obvious reasons.

Reason 33: I’ll clean your car if you give me a free ticket.

Reason 32: If invited i’ll help out in anyway that is asked of me.

Reason 31: I promise not to break in to Mike Arrington’s home to pitch my startup when we do launch.

Reason 30: Tech is in my blood, I have been obsessed with technology since I was 4 and got an early Macintosh and Reader Rabbit.

Reason 29: I currently use Mint, the winner of last year’s TechCrunch 40 event and absolutely love it. I only wish i had known about it sooner. By attending TechCrunch 50 I will be able to learn about new products as they are announced and be among the first group of first adopters.

Reason 28: In the event of an earthquake I can help others with procedure as I have dealt with many earthquakes living in Los Angeles for most of my life.

Reason 27: I am the Real Benny Lava and therefore I am insanely awesome.

Reason 26: I’ve spent over an hour coming up with these 50 things because I truly do want to go to TechCrunch, it is not just a vacation for me, it is a real exciting learning opportunity.

Reason 25: Demo Sucks, and I’ll help to spread that message beyond where it has already been spread. Demo is a bunch of liars and rip off artists and I think that

Reason 24: Hopefully Mahalo Daily is there and I get to meet Leah or Lon, or better yet both.

Reason 23: I am a card carrying member of the Jason Calacanis’s Jason Nation

Reason 22: I am an airplane and airline nerd and if anyone has problems booking tickets or needs help finding the best deal I can help find it for them

Reason 21: I looooooove free stuff.

Reason 20: I would love to see San Francisco, I have not had a chance to go to San Francisco since I was in my early teens and thing it would be an awesome experience.

Reason 19: I want to meet Loic Lemur and compare his real life image to his puppet image

Reason 18: I don’t think I can dance nor do I ‘wanna’ dance.

Reason 17: I want this thing 5 times more than anyone else.

Reason 16: I can bring insight I have from when I visited Africa

Reason 15: I’m not cool enough to have to go to all the parties so I’ll give my spots up to Taurus and Fondue

Reason 14: If I get in for free I will make a t-shirt saying I love JCal and wear it one of the days of the event.

Reason 13: I am not Jerome Corsi

Reason 12: I like good food and can always help finish off food if you have some unfinished food.

Reason 11: I love startups and I hate photoshop….I suck at it! I think this should be ample evidence of such as i couldn’t even figure out how to do this in Photoshop so I did it in Fireworks.

Reason 10: I love technology startups and read TechCrunch everyday…what was up with that Bigfoot story btw, it seemed a bit out of place.

Reason 9: I am trying to get my own startup going (much smaller scale than those that launch at TechCrunch) and this would be a valuable learning experience, plus when we finally launch we will be give due credit to TechCrunch for a free ticket to the TechCrunch50 event that helped me gain valuable knowledge.

Reason 8: I would be able to spread the knowledge gained and my insights to my friends, both in real life, on twitter, friendfeed and Facebook (I have tons of Facebook Friends).

Reason 7: I am young, just 20 years old, and would be able to bring a youthful vibe and perspective to the conference…and I look younger so I can make everyone feel older!

Reason 6: I’m big, about 6′3 235 (right now)  so if you happen to have a riot I can help try to stop it.

Reason 5: Jason Calacanis is someone I look up to and to be able to attend an event he has helped organize would be a dream come true and extremely awe inspiring.

Reason 4: I have very little money, but could use my savings to pay for a hotel room and the gas to drive up there if the ticket was free.

Reason 3: I LOVE conferences, when I was in college (I was there for a year) I loved going to conferences and went to as many as I could. Now that i have to work I can no longer afford to go to conferences that interest me.

Reason 2: I believe that TechCrunch50 is the best way for a quality startup to launch and I think that I can be a part of history with great companies launching, if I am to be given the honor of attending.

Reason 1: I know that TechCrunch50 is better than Demo, and kindly request that Demo stop lying and continue to suck just as much while losing out to TechCrunch50 which will hopefully become TechCrunch60 next year.

Please do consider my application, I hope that the humor included, albeit minimal has at least increased your day a bit.

-The Real Benny Lava aka Andrew Fielding

Tags: Contest, Jason Calacanis, Mahalo, Mike Arrington, Startup, Tech Crunch, TechCrunch, TechCrunch50, Technology

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 16th, 2008 at 12:56 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.